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  • Writer's pictureAmy DeAnda

Dear Younger Me....

Found an old blurry photo of myself. It brought back a few memories so I wrote her a poem.

I still find you in the mirror sometimes... in the suddenness of an awakened trigger, a quake in my emotional safety, the wince of a heavy memory, even a song that throws me backward through time. For a moment I am lost in all the Old Feels and I forget where I'm at, causing me to react, retract, cringe, and cry falling into the hole of wondering why so deep I lose sight of my place in The Now, and finding myself wearing the skin of that confused inner child come back from The Before Though I know I'm not her... because the clothes don't fit anymore. But I can look at the girl in the mirror and reassure her that I love her without judgement of anything healed or healing, though long since left behind that I see her and accept her and forgive her for the moments when she didn't know how to process big feelings with grace. It wasn't her imagination. Those were difficult things to face, even if no one told her back then ....before she learned to recognize someone else's trauma. ....before she was equipped with the tools to help herself. ....before she realized she could walk away. ....before she learned how to breathe. I can look at her deeply in the eye, tuck her gently and safely back inside, reminding her she's okay and so am I and bring us both back with a smile filled with pride.

We will be talking about letting go of old patterns, focusing on "flow" instead of "friction" and growth mindset in our upcoming weekend women's retreat, March 31-April 2. If you are making a change in your life, this may be a great opportunity for you to connect with a small group of women for a weekend of great discussion and some time to focus on Self.

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